It's hard to believe that 7 months ago I was wondering if we would make it to the end! And here we are....the last mile of the my "marathon" race. It has been an incredible and humbling experience. And as I sit here, I have mixed emotions. (Perhaps we can blame the pregnancy hormones and sleep deprivation...but seriously....) As I was reading my daughter a bedtime story last night, I realized that this was the last night I would be reading her a book as an "only child". (Daddy and Momma take turns with bedtime routine, hoping that bedtime separation will be less significant once I go back to work!) Our alone time, bonding time and routine are about to be changed forever. I tear up thinking about what is to pass, but smile at what is about to happen. I think any mom, about to undergo any life changing event, wonders how it will effect her family, her children, her life....and then feels guilty having mixed emotions knowing how blessed she is to have been given this gift. I have appreciated the time I have had with my daughter. The last 5 1/2 years have past quickly. I have a hard time remembering my pregnancy, my emotions, her milestones...something I thought I would never forget, let alone have difficulty recalling. I have spent time looking at old photographs of M as she has grown. And as crazy as it sounds from a mom, I don't remember some of those moments, let alone how small she was and how big she is now. She has grown into such a beautiful and independent little girl. Her energy and spark are infectious. And though her sass is more than I can handle some days, she has a wonderful innocence about her. I love her more than any words could express. My heart aches to know that her life is about to change, but am forever grateful to know that she will not walk this earth alone. She will forever have a sibling, a partner, to live, to laugh and to dance with! I have no doubt that she will adjust well, be a great big sister and a great teacher, playmate and second mom to her new sister or brother.
I am blessed to have such a beautiful family. I am blessed to have the support of family and friends. I am blessed that God choose me to carry and welcome a new life into this world. I have not, for one day, taken for granted all that He has given me. I know that the challenges and obstacles I have experienced during this pregnancy are nothing compared to many others who have suffered premature deliveries, life decisions, life changing diagnosis, and so much more. I am not ignorant. For that reason, I am eternally grateful to our Lord for granting my a blessing of a lifetime! So as I prepare to cross the finish line, let me thank you...my supporters and cheerleaders for praying and cheering me on! Without your support and prayers, it would have been a much lonelier and longer experience. I see the finish line! And I can't wait to receive and hold my medal! Until our next "run"......
